Tuesday 14 July 2009

HIDING

I want to hide and run away from everything that is happening to me.

Hospital appointments are looming one is tomorrow the other the following Wednesday.

I want to bury myself in my blankets and go to sleep forever. I know life is for living but right now it doesn't feel like it.

I wish my life could be easy. Life is tough I know that more than most. I just wish I could overcome my fear of walking through those hospital doors and sit in the waiting room of the clinic. That is the worst for me the waiting. I hope it is not too long this time.

Many times before I have been sat in the waiting room and nearly bolted out of it. It is fear but what on earth am I afraid of?

My head is in my hands and I keep shaking. The more times I go to hospital the worse it is. Ignorance is bliss, well it is in my eyes and under these circumanstances.

Once tomorrow's appointment is over so will the fear be.

Then the day before the next one the fear will start again.

I wish I could control my feelings but then that would make me boring I suppose. It shows I am human and have feelings too.

Best wishes to everyone.

Fee
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2 comments:

  1. The Joined up Cook15 July 2009 at 08:53

    I feel for you.

    I don't know what to say tht would sound useful.

    Maybe take your laptop, if you have one, and write about whilst there.

    Writing, as you seem to have found, can be so cathartic. To write about something whilst you are experiencing it might help.

    I don't know and am floundering to be helpful here.

    So, back to what I said earlier.

    I do feel for you.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Fee21 July 2009 at 16:16

    Dear A Write Blog,

    Thank you for your support. I am doing well and coping as best I can. I have my writing to keep me going and love learning new skills. People watching in hospital. LOL.

    I have not lost my sense of humour.

    Best wishes

    Fee

    ReplyDelete

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